life through little eyes

Setting the Bar... HIGH

2008-02-15T16:49:00.003+08:00

Woman will love him and Man will hate him

This guy who is one of my friend's mate has really spoilt the market now. Every girl would expect a billboard proposal or more which is very hard to top since it cost RM40,000 to put one up. It should be an easier task since he works for his dad who owns this advertising agency who apparently does all this billboard ads. But still he will score a ten on one of the most unique marriage proposal.

Will you say No?

the colour of deceit

2007-03-15T18:37:00.000+08:00

this is just totally irrelevant but all of a sudden i am damn pissed off.

damn pissed off at the string of lies you can tell

how good a liar you really are that you have the whole world fooled including me

if it is not because of someone else, why were you seen feeding her at the food court then?

why is it so hard to admit and speak the truth? things can be mended and fogiven and forgotten

where did your balls go to? cant admit it and be a man?

all those lies and deceit

who do you think you are trying to fool?

the black depth of Hades awaits

Letting Go

2007-03-04T12:36:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, some kind hearted soul send this to me when
I was upset with someone at work.
Little did he know that this day I have to read this and use it on him instead.

Letting Go
Letting Go is like forgiveness...
when you forgive, you forgive yourself,
you let go of your burden you are carrying with the relationship.

Forgiveness is not about others.
It is irrelevant whether they share similar feelings,
you chose to forgive, without conditions.

You forgive and move on to celebrate life.
Life is too short so spend the effort in making every minute great for yourself.
No point reminding oneself of any unhappiness.

Forgiveness is something you do for yourself and never others.

Wise words.

Today I may forgive, but I will never forget.
Coz that's just me. I never forget.

I wan the original Prosperity Burger!!!

2007-02-07T15:46:00.000+08:00

HOW COME???

Why must MCDONALDS take away the orignial Prosperity Beef Burger and replace it with the awful Beef Foldover??

Give me back the original Beef Foldover like it should be!

Bring back the Original Prosperity Burgers, the only ones you get to enjoy only during Chinese New Year.
iWant!!

Are we ALL settling?

2006-10-27T03:12:00.000+08:00

Everyone I know settles for something.

They settle for mediocre jobs they know they are dying to have left 2 years ago, they settle for boyfriends they know is not too good for them, they settle for the love and life because soceity dictates that they need to behave in a certain way.

Fear seems to drive most of us into conforming to soceity's needs. When one ages and havent accomplish what they set out for in life, we settle. Settle for the job for fear of not getting a better one, settling for love with a boyfriend that isn't the love of your life, and getting married or having kids not because you want to but because you need to.

Its sad to see many still walking down the same path, especially when it comes to love, should you really settle for what you have now? Are there no one else out there worthy of being the love of your life? Or is that only a fairy tale?

I need more time

2006-07-27T20:31:00.000+08:00

24 Hours in a day is never enough!

I need 8 hours of sleep a day.
2 hours to eat
1 hour on my PSP
1.5 hour to drive
10 hours to work
1 hour to drink and be merry
0.5 to shower (twice a day mah)
0.5 to think and ponder
1 hour on the phone

I'm already way overtime!
I need more.........................

what can you do with your anger?

2006-07-05T18:56:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt that you have so much hate in the world that you can just kill that stupid mother fucker right now! in this instance! if you have a gun in your hands?

I have no idea why but at times frustration just gets out of hand. The same problem creeps up after you try to sweep it under the carpet. Time and again it comes back to haunt you. Frustration and more anger builds up. Till there is no control and you start throwing tantrums, throwing things around, shouting over the phone, at your friends. bitching, cursing but still no relief. You feel like killing the root of the problem but instead unresolved anger gets out of control.

I wouldnt say that I will kill for sure, if you would really put a gun in my hand, would I really kill my boss that brought me so much grief? But then again I may just be chicken shit and smile at him and hide the gun behind my back. Maybe revenge is all you need in life. Simple pranks that will justify all the torture. Let the air out of his tires one day or get him so drunk, strip his pants and smash eye whites over his ass to create the ultimate illusion of sodomy the night before. That's a sweet thought.

But what about family members? You love them and yet you hate them but you cant. Well at least I can't. But I can't tolerate them either. This must be the worst love hate relationship ever. And God really tests your patience time and time again.

Yeah, yeah. Life fucking sucks.

I was near the Merlion and this was what I did....

2006-07-01T18:42:00.000+08:00

So there I was down 'immediate' south again, on a mission to find more money for my boss [work lor] and had an off day so I went walking around.

Heared that the early works of Henri Cartier-Bresson was on display so I went to take a look. It was featured at :

Love the way he took pictures of woman, nude or clothe, really shows how infatuated one can be over one's body.

So after being cultured, went on to met this white men along the river banks.

He really wasnt very friendly. But I has a good laugh at this one, he was trying so hard and fell a few times trying to 'capture the moment'.

But the highlight of the stay was when I checked into Raffles The Plaza hotel, need not say much just look...

The bed was super comfy, the toilet is so spacious you can have 5 girls getting ready at the same time and it still wont suffocate. There was a Bose CD Player in the room, you can listen to CDs or the radio while you sit on the throne or when you soak yourself in the big long tub sipping a glass of wine just relax and unwind after a long day. Its the greatest feeling in the world.

Oh well, on the job perks, what can I say?

A woman LOVES her shoes!

2006-06-08T19:30:00.000+08:00

My latest buy out of about 50?!?. Mom always complain I have too many, but I keep telling her, "No! This one is different!".

I have an injured knee since 2 months back (damn those stepper) and wanted a flat shoe I can wear to work that is comfy and very presentable. Went shopping and found it! Only 59.90 a steal for its comfort, material and design. It feels like you slipped on soft leather on the inside and its velvety on the outside. And best of all, its really super flat, thin and light! I even got a 10% discount with my HSBC credit card. Hooray!

They have 3 colours, I am going to get them all.

06:06:06:06:06/06/06 : the devil's day

2006-06-06T20:57:00.000+08:00

06.06.06

In actaul fact, its the day of the beast not some devil who's 'out to get you kinda day' you should be worried about.

But still people are talking about being evil today. My ex told me he is out to do some evil things to people, like stop his car in the middle of the highway and throw nails in the middle of it so poeple crash, yeah, and stay at the side of the road wearing a white robe and not move...OoOoO..... And go to this guy that he hated and splash his car with real animal's blood.

But those are all my imagination, he'll probably just go for a drink and forget about it for all you know.

But I tell ya, FOOD IS EVIL.

No doubt about it.

The carbohydrates, the fats - all the most yummy things you can taste is all BAD. Especially so when you are on a protein only diet. It becomes even more obvious.

THE WORLD IS MADE OUT OF CARBOHYDRATES!!!!

I was in walking at Mid Valley, all food stalls offer Carbs ONLY. Kuih, Hot Dogs, Cakes, Vanilla Shake, Pretzels, Popiah, Ice-Creams, Bread, Coke, Burgers. Beer. All Carbo. Evil Carbo.

NO wonder we get FAT. Damn you carbohydrates!

and so it ends...

2006-05-04T13:02:00.000+08:00

04.05.06

relationships are never easy to end.

You may end it in grace, in courage, in good faith or in a rage,
but there is always no good way to say good bye.

All said and done, what's meant to be, must be;
and what's not meant to be; is best left as it is.

It was never easy but it has to be done.

Take care dear friend, lover, companion.
This is the end.

decisions, decisions

2006-03-29T19:54:00.000+08:00

Sometimes in life, you may be presented with huge decisions to make. Not the usual what should I eat tonight but life changing decisions that can change your life path forever.

It may be dropping everything and buying that holiday package which not only gave you a much needed break from your routine work, but also landed you a sweetheart that you are spending the rest of your life with.

It maybe that determined choice to drop out of school to start your own career and you ended up owning the most successful chain of Pirated DVDs stalls in the whole of KL.

Perfect scenarios.

But it almost always never happens to you.

Yours is the contemplation stage. About to make that damn life changing decision. You deliberate, weight out the pro and cons and ask yourself for the one millionth time, "Should I?"

Should I do it or not?

I dont want to waste anymore time. Life is too short people always say. Live Life to the fullest, be happy coz that's what's most important.

Well really? Can you really just make life changing decisions with a leap of faith and do what you think is right? What would your decision be based on anyway? Life’s experience or experiences of other people’s life.

How can you not make silly decisions in life which you may live to regret?

Can you just rely on your gut? Your bulging, shaking gut?

Driving in KL

2006-03-06T18:31:00.000+08:00

STUPID MOTHERFUCKING IMBECILES!!! CANT YOU DRIVE PROPERLY?!!??!!oneone

I just left a comment on Heavenly and thought I better continue my driving lessons here.

"Can you like fucking stop cutting q's at the slightest possible space you can find? Do you know its fuckers like you that make the jam even worse?!?"

"And to those of you who like to cut from the furthest left lane to the furthest right lane ALL THE TIME NO MATTER WHAT, purleaseeee, havent you noticed the moving traffic on your lane??!!! WTFBBQ!

“Can you like look for the right opportunity to cut in between cars smoothly, when you see an opening instead of hitting the BREAKS ALL OF A SUDDEN, put on your signal and wait till someone gives ways so you can move on?!! HELLO!!! Do you know how many cars you are stopping in the process and the chain effects of that?

"Who ever said the right lane is the fastest anyway? Thanks to all you mother-fucking-road-hogger-morons, there is no difference anymore!"

"Amboi Abang! Look in front!! There's enough space! You can exit the junction; don’t have to wait till all 2 lanes stop for you to exit!!"

"Do not brake at the slightest flash of red lights on the highway; you have a brain, use it. Not all red lights means ‘put all pressure on your brakes NOW!’ Do you even realise the moron behind you will also put their brakes on and the chain effect of that?"

"What? Afraid you can’t stop in time? Who the hell taught you to breath down someone's neck?"

“Hey Ah Beng, I know you have a fast car and think you can overtake everyone, but can you like do it in some race track instead because you zipping in and out wont get you that far you know! You are still just behind me. Seriously what were you thinking?!"

"Stop being a keh poh chee, accidents are not meant for you to ogle at for 4D numbers! SO MOVE!!"

"No it’s not ok that you forgot to lift your stupid finger to put your signal on when you wanna turn into a lane, coz someone at the junction might just wanna exit too!"

"PURLEASEEE makcik, can you not drive so slowly when you see the Green light? Its means GO and FAST, not take your own sweet time!"

Can you noobs please go back to driving school and learn how to memandul! OR I'll teach you for free!! Just stop giving me big headaches, high blood pressure and constant swearing. I drive an hour to work everyday and 35 minutes back! In 3 years time my once black hair would have gone white AND fallen off! GRRRRRrrrrrr………

if i had one wish

2006-03-04T18:42:00.000+08:00

Birthdays always reminds me of my age. Also all the things that comes with its celebration. The thoughtfulness, warm smiles and greetings of "Happy Birthday", kind gestures, gaterings, good fun, presents, booze and dancing. Today is no exception.

Started yesterday with the eating session with my close friends which was so fun as you can just chill out and pig out. Some quiet drinks and funny conversations.

Had a little cake cutting tradition in the office today and tasted yummy Tiramisu cake. Lots more warm greetings. And tonight, party on down at KL HIlton's ZETA BAR! I hope no one mentions it to the band and gets me pulled me up on stage or I WILL KILL THEM.

And I wish for....

World Peace, Harmony, less scary diseases, no more foul smelling water, less hate and anger on the road, no more price increases to the damn liquid you put in your car to make it move. ermmm....a fantastic job, shag, and of course a Gucci bag. thank you, thank you, thank you.

Valentine's Day !?!

2006-02-13T15:47:00.000+08:00

Valentines day is such a blatant form of commercialism. Why pay an obscene amount of money on flowers, presents and candle light dinner to proclaim your love?!? Why do you need to show extra loving affections only on this particular day when you are supposed to love your partner everyday?

So dont be silly ok! Just get me those damn 100 stalk lilies (delivered to my office ya - so my colls will be so jealous), this season’s Gucci/LV handbag and a quiet diiner at Lafite enuf already! kthxbai!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Life Changes

2006-02-10T12:32:00.000+08:00

Well, since the doggie year has already started, its about time I lived up to my resolutions.

I got up at 6.30am and went to the gym, worked out and punched in the office early as a bee. It is damn refreshing I tell you! You'll feel great! Besides that, the gym is so empty compared to rush hour! No noobs fighting for the tread-mill and the hunky machine that tones your lower body. No gays flirting their biceps to get laid, no bitchy woman talking bad about the whole world except themselves. It's fabulous! Except for the jam if you leave a little over 7am. Be prepared to drive for an hour. Hitting the road at 6.15 is the best.

I also quit beer and cigarettes. Can you believe it!?! I can't either, and its not really very hard to do, once you tell yourself you are going to do it, you seem to be able to carry it through.

I am also not eating any carbo after 7pm. And trying to loose as much weight as possible.

Am working well and feeling good. It is a great year to start damn resolutions I tell ya! Let's see, what should I work on next? Hmmmm....

Fire Dog Year is here!!!

2006-01-28T12:58:00.000+08:00

This is the first Chinese New Year that I am not fussy about, no crazy shopping, no spending more than you should. In fact all I look forward to is spending time with my dear hard bed and my soft fluffy pillow and bolster. I didn’t even buy single brand new Chinese-y clothing which is like a die die must follow tradition for the past years.

But I am looking forward to February 4^th where the damn rooster takes a hike and gives way to the blessed Fire Dog. This year really looks like a very promising one. I am already located at a room in my home which is the best for me this year and all I need to do is move my furniture so that I can maximize the wealth and future opportunities the coming year. That’s for Feng Shui.

On the astrology side, possibility of marriage or romances, change to a better career and better prospects should be a coming. Just in line with my Feng Shui at home, which makes the chances of all this happening more realistic. I am so thrilled. Going to kick start my resolutions and stick to them. Will be on a 2 month diet or no booze and cigi but protein and gym. And a new more disciplined me (please cross your fingers for me).

All this in 2006.

Cant wait for it to start.

Wishing all family and friends a Happy, Healthy, Prosperous and Chinese New Year!!!

Gong Hei Fatt Choy!!!!

2006 New Year Resolutions

2006-01-19T15:49:00.000+08:00

Its rather late now to be putting down your New Year's Resolutions when you are supposed to have made up your mind and living it up religiously by now. But since I believe the New Year doesnt start till Feb 4th - we are still not in the Dog Year YET. So.... here are my new year resolutions.

1. Save Money!!

I shall cut down on feeding damn Starfucks. So I resort to this nowadays...

well not that its very cheap, at least cheaper than Starfucks. Its like throwing RM11.50 everyday.

2. Quite Smoking for good!

I am not a chain smoker, no not even close, I only drink and smoke nowadays but my fortune teller says I'll die one day from lung cancer so I have to stop this disgusting habit soon.

Oh Well... Last carton then!

3. Quit Beer.

This would be a tough one. This is why.

How can you evar resist this damn 'hot' looking thing!!

4. Be more aggresive, outspoken and determined.

Well, that would make me more of a bitch, so this one should be easy.

5. Be more Organised. Do my reporting sheets, be more efficient, spend less time in the office.

So my Boss would love me more. And I should have more time to go and work out in the gym, so my boyfriend can love me more.

6. Control My Temperaments.

This year is going to be a hot and heaty one, if I will be a bitch I will be a diplomatic bitch. So I will have to keep my cool. My Motto for the year:

Never take anything personally.
Think before I speak .
Not make assumptions.
Always do my best.

So if you haven't made up your resolutions, just do it for fucks sake. Its tradition, dont give me the crap of saying you wont follow it anyway. Well lighten up! If you never going to subconciously tell you lazy mind to change, you know what?! You never will! (see I'm becoming a bitch already!)

Besides, accordingly to the astological signs for the year, this year is a good one to start off all the good habits - coz its going to last.

Happy New Year!

2006-01-01T22:18:00.000+08:00

last update for the year?

2005-12-30T12:51:00.000+08:00

Since I was on a 2 weeks break and did whatever my heart desires then and there, I seldom got the chance to update my blog, feeling a little bad about it so have to at least make this one more entry before the year ends.

I just started to work again and although work is urgent and piling, it's with a different perspective. I had such a nice time away from it all it was exhilarating. It was such a nice feeling to be so care free and stress free, so much so that my colleague commented that I looked very different without the stress signs on the face.

So anyone who has yet to take a break from work should do so once a year at least for a week or two to get away from it all, next year I'll be doing it last 2 weeks of the year, a nice end to one and a great new beginning to another.

I have lots to update about the 2 weeks break I took and what went on. The Christmas stuff and some thoughts I had during this time. But that will have to wait till the New Year comes.

This year has been a good one. Money was better, I earned more but when it did, I always manage to spend it, somehow, so still no savings and no 'Woman's worth investments' made. So this will be one of my new year resolution - Save up!

But there are also a lot of sadness this year. Much news of death and of illnesses around my circle of friends and the passing of elderly people, calamities, accidents... makes you really wonder about life and how fragile it is.

But there was also hope and love. Hope for a better tomorrow when grief hits you at the lowest point and drags you down. Love when you lest expect it. The shoulder to cry on, the strong hands with the great hugs. There is an ending to a good friendship without any reason, which I have almost forgotten about totally - well, so be it. Blossoming of new friendships and rekindling of good old ones. Marriages and divorces, tears of joy and tears of sorrow, new born, life and death - the full circle of life.

I'll end this year with thoughts of contentment and hope for better days to come when we cross over from the 2005 to 2006.

Happy New Year Everyone!

counting down the days

2005-12-03T16:00:00.000+08:00

I have been working non stop for the last 2 weeks trying damn hard to hit my target and I only have 3 more days to hit it. This is damn exhausting - the late nights, the disappearance of my social and family life, the increase in wrinkles and under eye baggage, the addiction to Starfucks on a daily basis, white hair and high blood pressure from the stress. I even dream about it when I sleep. The only thing that keeps me a little sane is the thought of icy cold beer and endless cigarettes to de-stress at the end of each day.

But it'll be worth it.

Come 7th, I'd be off to Singapore and the beginning to my 2 week long holiday break. I can't wait. It's almost 5 years since I started this job and I havent stopped working ever since. I have so many things I want to do. Change my IC, go see a skin doctor, go do a medical check up, see a gynae, pay and sort of my bills. I wanna sort out the files on my PC, clean my room, watch all the DVDs, sleep and do nothing. Catch up with my friends and bug them at their office. *evil grin* read a book and sit in starfucks for hours doing nothing. I need to go shopping, write more articles, read more books, save the world (yeah right),go Hong Kong for Christmas, party! drink and be merry....etc... etc...

But the best thing this holiday would be not having to get up early, drive to the office in the jam and not having to listen nor see my dumb fuck GM for 2 whole weeks. Pure happiness.

3 more days... just 3...

meow meow land second league

2005-11-17T10:57:00.000+08:00

We woke up the next day and went for breakfast and had pretty good nasi lemak and tea. Of course nothign compared to the ones we had in town.

Then we went back to our room, packed, chat and had a few more rounds of Chor Dai Di and it was already time to go.

We drove away from Santubong and headed back to town for lunch. We ended up at this restaurant with yummy chicken rice and apparently this is where the "Teh Si Peng" originated from.

Yummy but not as good as the usual one we had.

After a full lunch we went to the Pitcher Plant and Wild Orchid garden.
Apparently it was free entrance and since its on the way, why not.
Have never seen one before and it looks like this...

Quaint eh? Here are the babies....

After this After this, we went to the Forest Reserve Department to see some Orang Utans in action. It was just a 10 minutes drive but since we missed the turning (didn't expect the building to be so new) we have to drive all the way back, an extra 25km easily.

It would have been much better if they were not closed for renovation. But I still can't understand why a rain forest needs reneovation??

So after we saw some more oran utan action and crocodiles non-action. We left, went home and got ready for dinner.

Dad brought us to this place, apparently very femes for seafood, it's called the See Good restaurant. And yes it lives up to its name as in they display the seafood out, you see if its good then you ask them to cook it.

It was delicious....

Glorious Lobsters...

Heavenly prawns...

The next day we went to eat brunch at a local restaurant which has the best prawns I have ever eaten - damn I'm going to die of cholesterol. Couldnt take any pictures as we were with dad's associates and must behave. After a 10 course lunch, we went to look at Dad's workplace about an hour's drive away. Well it was great and all, blah blah but I am more into whats' going to happen after that. The climb up to the cave in "Daerah Bau". I love an adventure!

massive amount of steps to climb...

braving through dark tunnels and a very steep, almost 90 degress and slippery staircase, and we got a few good shots....

It was pretty cooling and very wet. When we left it was pouring. And in Kuching, expect rain everyday in big, huge drops. Getting up the steps was easy but not going back down was a bit scary since it was wet and very dark. But all 4 got back without a scratch.

The next day, our last day in Kuching (yes we can't wait to leave), we went out shopping, and I took the car and drove the ladies to town, without a map. Quite a test on my memory bank but we made it there.

Saw a few sites,

Sarawak River

The Muzium

shopping lane...

Bought a few things, then ate lunch and went home to pack. All in all, Kuching was good. The food was great, the people were cool although they spoke mostly mandarin, and the company was great. I think most family holidays, although having lots of activities were good, the most important thing is to spend quality time together. And we did just that.

Kuching's sunset

the meow meow land

2005-11-17T10:19:00.000+08:00

If you havent been to Kuching in your lifetime yet, no harm giving it a try. It was more of a plan to go see Daddy-o as he had just been posted there for work and had the whole apartment to himself.

So 3 old and 2 young ladies took the first flight out of KL on Air Asia and went to see what type of cats there were to make Kuching so femes. We had to wake up super early, 4.45 am and reached KLIA just in time to check in and get some breakfast at McDs.

Po Po and Yee Po cant wait to get on board.

Fortunately, there was only a 15 minutes delay and we got there just in time to go for our first breakfast in Kuching.

Meow!

Dad, who was only there less than a month cant really recognised the roads all that well yet so he had trouble finding this place called "Deities Restaurant" who supposedly had fantastic food so we went near to where he stayed and ate a simple meal there. The first meal itself was great!! The Kueh Chap there was fantastic, something like dried Kuey Teow, but in big chunks of it, brown sauce/soup and pork. It was yummy!

..... best!!!

But nothing beats this

The Best Teh Si Peng I have ever tasted in my life!. There are actually 3 levels to this. The top is the 'teh', then comes the condensed milk 'si' and lastly the damn yummy gula melaka. Mix them all and you will get an orgasmic burst of smooth milk tea with the taste of gula melaka and its aroma! I had on average 2 big mugs a day for the next 5 days!

After we were all full, went back to where Dad is putting up.

This is the apartment and this is our ride.

Then we started doing some house chores and cleaning Dad's place, looking at what we need to buy for him since he is here all alone. Man tend to get a little lost without their dear wife.

After 2 hours of mopping and scrubing, Dad's colleague, aka our tour guide took us out for some sight seeing and shopping.

The goddess of cats

and relatives, and friends.....

Chinese temple

Majlis Perbandaraan Kuching... nice architecture.

After all this we bought some food home, bought Dad his utilities for the house, dinner and of course the damn nice teh ais and pigged out at home. We chat and rested and prepared for our trip to the beach tomorrow.

Next morning after some breakfast and teh ais - again, we packed our bags and followed my dad's lady boss to Santubong beach in a convoy. The drive was easy and relaxing with fantastic views along the way of mountains and mist and we reached in no time.

Yeah that's where we stayed.

The Resort was a pretty old place and had nothing much to offer but mosquitoes. I think I had like 2 dozen bites. We walked around, chat and made jokes with the 3 old ladies and went off to dinner. Dinner was alright, but not much seafood as it was the long holidays and even the fisherman went on leave. So we ate what was left. After dinner me and my sis went to another hotel nearby where there were more of a night life, sat in the pub and took down a jug each and felt normal again with the booze, music and some smokes.

We sat till the pub closed and the waiter had to shooo us away. The next day, we ate, played some "Chor Dai Di" laughed our heads off and went back to Kuching.

feelings

2005-11-10T17:57:00.000+08:00

I hate it when I am stuck with this feeling. The feeling of helplessness.

Damn It! I wish that I can be born with a fucking lan ciao instead of a bleeding cibai - then all these stupid emotions are much easily dealt with.

I have this sense of emptiness that can't be filled. The half fulfilled life, half fulfilled career, my half fulfilled friendships, half fulfilled sex life and half fulfilled relationship with my family .

I asked myself, what the fuck is missing? Every time this feeling comes, I ask myself the same question time and again but I still can’t find the answer to it.

If you are thinking, go have some goals, create some objectives in life. I have those already. I am in control of my career, but it never seemed enough. The rest of the stuff I can control how people feel so I can’t change them.

I must admit, maybe it was me, being the workaholic that I am, I tend to neglect certain things, neglect certain people, but it was never intentional. Then when it comes to relationships, am I overdoing it?

Must I always play mind games with you so that you can like stay in my life for a little bit longer? Was I like too easy or too eager to be with you that you cant handle it? Must one really play hard to get and not be frank with how one feels when apparently it was okay to be frank? Should I have turned on the lights or stayed much nearer? Am I getting it all wrong?

What do I need to do to be appreciated? How much more do I need to give? How much more do you want to receive?

So many questions, but not a single answer.

at times i wish time stood still
so that i wont be so unfulfilled
trying to seek all sorts of thrill
but in the end all becomes nil

off with your hair!

2005-11-09T19:07:00.000+08:00

Finally, Peter has taken it all off. I was supposed to give him his virgin cut but alas, was unable to make it as I was in Kuching. So he paid someone else to do it.

Personally, Peter I think you look much more leng chai now than ever! One of my favourite pic taken at the blog meet at Ky's

For the record, the sunglasses are mine. Heheheheeh.

DeepaRaya

2005-10-29T17:36:00.000+08:00

I wonder why this time around, this word was never used to celebrate both Deepavali for dear Indians and Hari Raya for Malays. We always had the Kongsi Raya thingy when Chinese and Malays celebrated theirs few years back. Maybe I have been too busy to go out jalan-jalan to enjoy the festivities or to go to one of those lanes in PJ and buy all the food you can see for buka puasa. Yummmm... I can feel the rendang in my mouth now.

This is one great thing about Malaysians, no matter what race, we all LOVE food! And that it brings us all closer together. Bring me for a great Nasi Kandar anytime! Which reminds me I have yet to bring one of my friend to banana leaf rice, something we both enjoy a lot, since I was so busy. Somtimes work deprives you of all the life that you can have like spending quality time with your family and friends and most importantly yourself.

That is why I am taking this advantage and bringing the whole family for much needed R n R to Kuching during the DeepaRaya hols. I am so looking forward to it, just doing nothing and eating. Heavenly.

Happy Deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya everyone!

Will be back just in time to shave Peter's head off!

the end of humanity?

2005-10-28T14:20:00.000+08:00

You never know what will happen when you leave the blogosphere for a little too long.

Everyone knows about the infamous XX - PT debate and the snide remarks flying off at every corner, not only in blog entries and commentaries, but also on MSN, when I met fellow bloggers, on forums - people are talking.

They are taking sides, they are putting their emotions out there. They are trying to defend their infamous blog star and degrade a disabled. They are throwing in own opinions, stating claims of law, bitching about how fair and how unfair things have become. Trying to dissect every god damn sentence ever written.

Yeah and what the hell for?

To speak up? To say their piece? To make it know that they have an opinion and they are not a retard or deaf and dumb? Wait a minute, those are disabilities too.

Maybe the greatest disability in all humanity is learning compassion and having a little common courtesy. If all of those out there defending XX could stop defending her but use all their energy to make her or people in general realize, that all it takes, is a little compassion, a little goodness in a person, a little sympathy or a little care? Where has yours gone to?

Why even bother targeting anyone!? Look at the issue! Are we even humans anymore? Are these the values we are instilling in ourselves? Are these what we are going to teach our children? 10 years down the road, are our kids going to turn up and say “Mom, you are too old now. I cant be bothered to take you to the handicapped toilet because there is someone in there all the time. I have to send you away..”

Is modern living stripping each and every one of us common decency?

Please! Rid me of my Sins

2005-10-15T16:55:00.000+08:00

I am on a month long strike from anything that moves, has 3 or four legs, that is edible of course. Am also getting rid of tox-s-ins from my body by taking some pills as well and since the government has imposed a higher fee for commiting certain sins like smoking and drinking (they don't call it sin tax for nothing), so I am keeping away from those too.

It has been such since Tuesday, 11th October and I am hoping it will last well into Deepavali. *cross fingers* I am very sure I can keep my vegetarian vows since I love veggies, but the beer is a little tough. How to abstain from good old beer when they are serving beerlicious German brands at the Octoberfest in One Utama next Friday at $1 each!! Of all times they have to come up with such treats!! Damn you people!

I am also trying to help rid some karmic sins by supporting a very good cause of shaving the goldilocks of Peter and 3 other comrades in support of raising funds for the Penang Hospice. I actually wish to shave his head myself (heheheheh) unless I can't find them a decent saloon to shave their heads in.

So if you are thinking of shedding some karmic sins as well please contribute! The Penang Hospice at Home Programme needs it so much! As little or as much as you can afford. Sikit sikit jadi bukit!

Sex... anyone??

2005-10-07T21:18:00.000+08:00

Lately, this particular topic just keeps popping up. Not that it is abnormal, you know, everyone needs some loving one time or the other, but sometimes, it’s just not as easy as you think.

I have a friend who told me that he got married just so that he knows there is always a ready cibai for him when he gets home. Well, that is the lamest excuse for getting hitched but hey it’s a legitimate one.

On the contrary, a few married friends keep telling me the lack thereof. Some have not had it with their husbands for a few months, some for 2 years, and some ever since they had their first child, which was like 5 years ago. Its not like they didn’t try, some induced, some asked (begged too) but it still didn’t work. Which got me thinking, aren’t men supposed to be the nymphomaniac here? Why are woman doing all the asking without any success?

I mean come on!! Sex is like the best thing that could happen to someone. The great high during orgasm cannot be replicated with anything in the world. I do share the sentiments of Dan Brown when he wrote: it’s the closest thing to seeing God.

Just imagine someone screaming "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! " (not being blasphemes here) when they cum and you will understand why.

Then you get those on the other side of the coin who is getting too much!

A male friend of mine, who is supposedly this sex god with many sexual partners, just had an adventurous one on Monday, doing it on the front porch of the girl's house wide open. Are you envious yet? Wait there is more! He has done it in his leggy, fully tinted Volvo which you can’t even see through without a torch light, in the jungles, at a condo's roof top, in the office, in the swimming pool, on the beach side, in the changing room, between a dark alley, in an abandon house, sheesh! enough already! And you wonder why these people didn’t get caught.

But really, how much sex does one really need? Any sexperience to share?

Bring your own shoe

2005-09-29T18:26:00.000+08:00

A newly found generous friend of mine had a fish stashed away in a refrigerator of the elegant Chinese restaurant at The Ritz. So he decided to get a little group and showed us his hospitality. The ambience and food was soooo good. From the juicy prawns to the refreshing almond paste dessert, every dish was simply yummy.

We took more than 2 hours to complete our dinner, you know coz you have to be very prim and proper eating there, full table manners, social chit chats and all. After that we carried our extra weight to a very interesting spot I have never ventured before - Little Havana near Frangipani.

It was Tango Night upstairs and after you pay RM10 for entry and a drink, you’ll be introduced to almost everyone there who tangos. Obviously age is not a question here as there was a 70+ year old man and a 60+ year old woman there dancing very well in favor of the Argentine tango rhythm

It was an interesting dance with many variations and therefore much is required and expected in the male’s lead. If your dance sucked, it’s the man’s fault. Quite rightfully so, as the full potential of the lady is realize only with the right dance partner.

Yeah.... it does takes 2 to Tango.

As I am only an observer, I sat and enjoyed the view, drinking to very nice wine and making conversations with new friends who are both as passionate about dancing as with alcohol. Right on cue!

We got too carried away and ended up to be the last few to leave. So when there was only 5 of us left, SY took me and lead me to dance floor for my first Tango experience.

I didn’t even know how to do this:

But as SY was a damn good dancer, he lead me to do the things I didn’t know I was capable of doing. I was like WOW I can Tango! Once you start, you can’t seem to get enough of it. I was doing it with this guy from Venezuela as well who happen to read my palm earlier. He said jokingly that I am a natural born dancer. NOT! I am SO taking lessons and buying dancing shoes. Everyone brought their own and they looked fabulous. I'm in just for the shoe!

one of those nights...

2005-09-19T14:28:00.000+08:00

Sue and I went bar hopping along Jalan Doraisamy last week. We walked along the whole Asian Heritage Row and settled for The Loft - Japanese, Italian and club lounge all under one roof – perfect!. Our hostess kindly told us that if you have a drink at the bar, you can eat whatever stuff they are serving on the bar top spread. That does not include the cute waiter but the food was enticing enough. They had yummy mini tomato skewers which I almost ate the whole plate, sushi, mini sandwiches and bread. So next time you are going for happy hours and finger food, the loft might be the best place for you.

We adjourned to a reserved table at the Japanese section and we ate sashimi and tempura and yummy button mushrooms while another hostess in matching white suit and pants came over and gave us invites to ladies fashion night on the 28th which we will definitely be going to just because champagne is at Rm10nett only! Woohoo!

After dinner, we went up to the Lounge, it was 9pm and there were only 2 tables. So we decided to bar hop to Bar Savanh which was just as quiet so we sat at the bar and ordered our champagne cocktail. Minutes later, a waiter came over and told us "the guys there ask if you want to join them, so what you want to say to them". First we were appalled by the way they supposedly wanted to pick up girls. Fuck! Not only are the qualities of men deteriorating, the ways they wanna pick up girls are failing! Maybe we should migrate! And so we did, back to the loft.

We chug down our free champagnes, knock back the best Lychee Martini I’ve ever tasted (the handsome bartender in shimmery silver uniform gives you 4 lychees!!!) and laughed at our dilemma with men and how FB are supposed to work, which I will leave to another post. But damn this Sue can drink! She was gulping down the martinis like a fish and ordered a few more. Then, we went off to Bangsar. By then I was already tipsy and she was still ordering more drinks for me. I tried this Dirty Vodkatini (please don’t try it! It takes like bitter raw spirit) and then a Chocolate Orange liqueur thingy which I forgot the name to, all this while playing the famous game 15-20. Maybe it was the speed, maybe it was the various combinations of liquor trying to outdo each other in my system but I couldn’t hold it all together anymore so gave it all up! 5 times in total.

Am staying off alcohol for a week!

Stuff taken that night:
A Japanese inspiration (cant remember what it is made of) Grand Mimosa, Cosmopolitan (vodka, triple sec, cranberry, lime juice), Champagne x 2, Lychee Martini x 3, Dirty Vodaktini (some smelly yucky concoction with vodka, don’t try it!) can’t remember the last one but it taste like orange, chocolate liqueur with vodka.

I'm turning into an alkie!

2005-09-12T19:04:00.001+08:00

I am getting this feeling of wanting to have alcohol in my blood stream every time I get off from work. I long for this woozy sensation you get from your first mug/glass of alcohol in your system. The weak in the knees, redness in the cheeks, relaxed mind and happy mood.

How not to get addicted??

I have been drinking since 30th August 2005 till today, no fail, at least a mug of beer everyday, if not a few mugs and plenty of other cocktails. And damn do I long for one of those frosted mugs and ice cold beer, gulp…gulp… ahhhhh....

Damn It!

This is bad. Am I turning into an alcoholic?

Wedding Bells are ringing…… Ding Ding Dong!!!

2005-09-10T13:06:00.000+08:00

There were no wedding bells but you get the idea.

One of my closest girlfriend (since way back partying days) is officially a Mrs. today. The reason why there wasn’t any wedding bells nor dressed up bridesmaids, neither the walk down the aisle, nor jumping into a flashy Mercedes after, was because they were signing their souls away at Tean Hou Temple.

I’ve never been to a marriage registration in Tean Hou Temple, so it was quite an unusual experience. I arrived a little late as usual, and they were around waiting for their number to flash on the screen (like in the Immigration department you know) for their turn. R looked gorgeous as usual, with her good looks, height, great body, and oh my god that dress!

Other girlfriends were there too, including some that I have not seen for many years, and some I’d rather not see at all. It was sort of like a little reunion. We exchanged kisses and hugs before following the bride and groom into a little room after their number was called. They had to sign 4 sheets of papers, exchange rings and say the magic word I do.

Yes, I do to a lifetime of marriage bliss or a lifetime of life behind marriage bars. But the whole ceremony thing was just so cute! The couple was constantly teasing each other; everyone was cracking jokes and one of the girlfriends played their favorite song from her mobile phone when they were exchanging rings and their first kiss.

After that, they were officially hooked.

with the Buddha's blessings, you both are off to a great blissful marriage!

We took many pictures at the staircase, she even threw her beautiful, gold dust sprinkled hand bouquet to hungry single ladies. Well, if I wanted to catch it, it would have been a piece of cake being a netball player and all *ahem* but I gave way to the more desperate females there. After all, they are attached, with boyfriends, and wanting so much to get married.

But it was very heartwarming to see R and J tie the knot. I am truly happy for her and her very good catch. Though I lost $300 (we had this side bet that out of the 3 of us, the first to get married will receive this money on top of gifts and red packets) it was worth every cent.

And then they became 1...

an intoxicating week

2005-08-28T20:34:00.000+08:00

It seems that most weekday nights are set for drinking. So much so it has become some sort of ritual. Not that it mattered anyway as I have been working for 2 weeks straight without a proper rest day. So I really can’t tell the difference.

Haven't really recovered from Saturday night's birthday party. And what a party it was! We had countless jugs of beer, followed by yummy brain damage shots and far too many tequila shots. But the highlight of it all was the deadly Guinness + Baileys dunk shot. This one alone can set you puking right away. Then of course there was the cake and the cake fight and the singing and dancing.

A little after 3am, when the doors to the pub were closed, a staff there offered a RM50 reward to anyone who can sing Negaraku. He sure knows how to pick a drunkard's brain! A few of us tried, but we were hopeless. No one can fully and correctly sing the damn song!

So we continued to do what we did best – drinking. After another hour or so, someone from another table offered me a glass of Gold Label – probably trying to shut me up after my countless attempts at singing Negaraku!! Well I haven’t really tried it before, took a big sip and wanted more. It was DAMN good! If I didn't exceed my quota for the night, I would have had 2 or 3 more! Well at least I managed to get the friendly guy’s name card which read of some big shot at from P. Lal Stores.

Well, that was Saturday.

Tuesday night, we got high and happy on lots of white and red wine. The company was great, the button mushroom and escargots where yummy, and the wine just keeps coming. We had a group of young and happy neighbors with lots of animals and bears and flowers on their table.

This was one if them

Intrigued, I went over to talk to the genius with the great hands who also made me a teddy with a flower and a dinosaur as well. This smart, young and handsome chap learnt his skills in just 3 days! No wonder he goes to Yale! Sadly, after just 15mins, they had to leave, not only for the night but also back to the States.

Oh well... I hope he is making more flowers and bears and all and doing very well wooing the girls with his new skills back in the States!

Than came Friday night and more drinking with some close friends. This time, it was Chilis for their damn cold and huge pints of beers. We talked about friendship and how it is very important to take care of it, just like you would to a love relationship. Only this doesn’t come with the sex.

But really, you just can’t take friends for granted. You need to put in some effort to make it last, to make it work, to care for them. Not only in times of trouble but just simply the companionship. After all what are friends for?

So make sure you check on your mate from time to time to see if they are ok. A simple sms, a Buzz! On MSN or a phone call is all it takes. Everyone loves to be loved.

Just got an sms from a friend, they are serving Lychee Martinis, at home, on a Sunday night. I am outta here!

Damn I am turning into an alcoholic.

If I expected love

2005-08-18T13:49:00.000+08:00

Wednesday night found 2 woman having plenty of drinks after a relaxing massage and some tapas at La Bodega in Bangsar. We had a mixture of everything, sangria, this great new drink Kwai Fei - lychee martini, champagne cocktails, French 95 and too many Bellinis.

Yes we were tipsy, ahem a little more than tipsy actually, we were laughing out loud, enjoying ourselves and talking about relationships.

“Don’t you think its sad when some people wont ever get to experience for once, at least, in their life, the greatest romance of all, you know with all the fireworks and passion you can think of just like in the movies?!? Some woman just get too paranoid when age creeps up on them and they just marry whoever that comes along when they are most vulnerable, but only to separate a few years later.”

That is all sad but true. Come to think of it, I think most people won’t even get to feel love, warmth and compassion let alone experience the greatest romance in their life. To be able to say “I don’t care if a bomb falls down on us today, at least we have loved before” is something some can only dream about but never lived.

In this day and time, has romance and love gotten outdated that it is not needed in a relationship? A friend of mine just told me that she went out on a date with this a guy she met on her blog. It went well and at the end of it, the guy just asked her if she could possibly be his Fuck Buddy (FB)!!?! This is proposed by a 27 year old, cute, tall and handsome designer. What is wrong with these people?

Don’t people date anymore?

I do know all men’s objective (yeah whether you like it or not and beg to differ) ultimately is to get into your pants/skirt/underneath your g-string. But asking someone to be a FB on a first date just shocks your believes to the core. Should I just stop dating and just start fucking?

We didn’t manage to drive home after the 6^th round of drinks so we stayed on till the shop closed. That’s when KS came over and talked to us. We didn’t pay much attention to the very persistent bald engineer director who shoved us his name card, instead we continued on and ordered another Bellinis.

Later, 2 drunk ladies stumbled to the mamak stall for a hot drink to clear the head before we head home. S ordered Milo and chicken to feed the cats. She is such an animal lover, so much so she opened her own shelter for cats and dogs. If you fancy a new companion, (and no, I dont mean fuck buddies) please let me know. Although I can’t hook you up with a real mate, I can definitely hook you up with men’s best friend.

The reason why reverse psychology works…

2005-08-11T22:20:00.000+08:00

My personal message on MSN:

I’m damn busy, don’t disturb me if there is nothing important..

5 minutes later

Suanie: eh so how ar?

15 minutes later

Ashxavier: i'm gonna go kamikaze and bug you.

Ashxavier: die at your hands is fine by me :P

Hours later

Peter: sibuk? tapi saya mau kacau

And later

R: «I important… hihi»

Sigh....

My First Time

2005-08-10T11:30:00.000+08:00

It was a lot of first for me yesterday night - being invited to a “Tayangan Perdana” of such nature, watching a malay flick and being introduced and labeled as a "Blogger".

Suanie asked me along to the opening night of Gol & Gincu yesterday. She told me TV Smith had tickets and wanted company so I went without knowing what to expect besides to dress nice. Spotted a lot of local artist, the whole crew of GG, Amber Chia (the leng lui of the moment), Marina Mahathir (the role model of the nation) and others which Suanie pointed out to me but I had no idea who they were besides their pretty face.

The show was more than I expected since I have never seen any Malay films before, not even Sepet (I know! I know!). It was rather slow to develop but had a lot of embedded social problems faced by Malaysians, reflecting its influence on the younger generation. Being the emotional fool I am, I almost shed a few tears at a few scenes. But it was a great show, entertaining, funny, not too bad a story line – just how a simple movie should be.

After the movie, we stood around, took some pictures with the cast and were introduced to some crew and TV’s friends. Strangely, we were being introduced and labeled as “bloggers”. It was surreal. I think I really need some time to get used to this. I don’t know who to thank exactly, should it be Daniel for the tix, TV or Suanie for the invite? But I did enjoy myself very much, especially walking a lost little bird to his car – another first!

Keh Poh Chee - ness : Part and Parcel of the Malaysian Culture

2005-08-07T18:47:00.000+08:00

This is a typical scenario on the Federal Highway, both sides of the road are on a bumper to bumper crawl. It’s not rush hour. You figure there is an accident in front and you have no where to run. The day is scorching hot, your car temperature is rising and you are running out of patience.

30 minutes later you approach the cause of the problem. But hey, wait it is actually on the opposite side of the road. You curse, you swear, you blame all this “keh poh chee” who stopped to look AND then and you do it yourself.

Then out of no where the fella right behind you, being a typical Malaysian, stared at the incident for a few seconds too long and whacked straight onto you.

Now, we have 2 accidents.

One caused by some wannabee race car driver hovering recklessly tryingto kiss a car’s ass. The other, a moronic keh poh chee driver who forgot he has to look straight.

And the jam goes on for another 2 hours.

Try this one day if you don’t believe it.

Stand on a busy street or a shopping mall area crowded with people, then, look up at the sky and point your finger up to it air at something. Hold it. Hold it. Wait for a few more seconds and see how many other keh poh chees will stand there with you and start looking at where you are pointing.

On another occasion, a woman screams, a thief just grabbed her handbag and shoved her to the ground. Well of course no Spiderman will appear to save the day, but a few fellow Malaysians who heard her holler instinctively ran and jumped on the thief just in time. Of course, the guy is beaten up to some blue and black hue, but hey! that’s what you get for bullying a woman.

“keh poh chee - ness” a typical malaysian culture, either way its good to have ‘em. Malaysia Boleh!!

* The entry was posted at Bloggers are Morons for Blogathon 2005.

Happy Birthday Peter!

2005-08-06T14:31:00.000+08:00

I was so touched after reading Peter's post on what he wanted as his birthday present this year, so here is your Birthday Present Peter!

Wishing you Many Happy Days Ahead!

And to those who are not aware, be a doll and help do your bit for charity. After all RM18.90 is all you need to give to help a dying person in need. And should you feel more generous, dear fellow Malaysians, you can spare RM50 in return for a receipt and submit this for an Income Tax deduction. You have got nothing to loose! After all, you know you need the deductions!

Just log on to bloggersaremorons.com or sign in here and list down the amount you would like to contribute (its in USD so make it USD20 about RM75 - remember its tax deductable!), when the blogathon ends, just send in your pledged amount.

Then watch the Morons as they work around the clock!

The concept

2005-08-04T10:11:00.000+08:00

When I am down and out, or feel like bitching about things, I always look up a particular guy friend D, to pour my heart out. What’s so great about D is, he will be able to (well most of the time) put subjectivity back into my life. I would whine about what is bothering me and he would give me the low down and the different perspectives you can look at the matter at hand.

This time, over whisky, the context of our discussion centered around my relationship. I was bitching about why it ended so soon, what went wrong and how this lost was something like my love of beer. It’s like when you just finished your first mug, and you are still thirsty for more and then the bartender tells you they ran out of beer!!

Yeah, it was very much like that.

“I think you are in love with the concept of being in a relationship. Not that you are really in love with this guy, not that you miss this guy but you longed for the warmth and the joys of being in a relationship. You will miss the company, the kisses and hugs, the late night calls, the feeling of being in a condition of love. But anyone can give you this feeling, so it’s not the guy you miss it’s the concept.”

That got me thinking.

Sometimes, we go into a relationship thinking of how nice it would be to be loved, to be hugged, to hear sweet nothings, to have the company and full attention of the opposite sex.

We have this misconception of being in a relationship, that we have to be totally into each other, we loose some of our own character just to please, we will be this very nice person (and hide our true feelings that we are actually a bitch) we may start too soon because we wanna get laid, make wrong decisions (because we wanna get laid) and end up with the wrong people (just to get laid). Of course everyone goes into a relationship for different reasons. The smart ones wait it out, the even smarter ones jump right in.

So when you do meet someone new, think again, is this person someone you really like and want to be with or are you just in love with the concept?

kim the cun's b-day bash

2005-07-26T13:41:00.000+08:00

On Saturday, Kim turned 21, so Shaolin suggested we have a b-day bash at KY"s house. Night started about 8, and as I was late, Kim was already flat out when I arrived.

This is what she does when she is out...

So the boys had to wake her up a bit....

since Jack was also drunk, KY had to wake him up too...

it's your fault I'm so wet!!!

Yeah... hehehehe....

Happy B-day Kim!

coldplay's speed of sound : delayed

2005-07-21T11:01:00.000+08:00

I am sure you know the term when it rains, it pours. Yeah it surely did this week! When your life is going down hill, you know the worse is yet to come before you reach the 'rebound' stage when life gets a little better. I took the plunge on Monday when I clicked on the damn virus first thing in the morning. My anti virus caught it, as I was about to delete it, I press the damn enter key instead!! (which is unfortunately just next to each other on my keyboard)

How can I be so careless?!!?!

Well, I blame it on lack of sleep - 3 hours of non-solid sleep, the rest was staring at ceiling, door, my pillow, watching my new and complete 6 seasons of Sex and the City DVDs, more staring at the ceiling, my pillow, emotional unrest, heartache and work uncertainties. Not to mention that my best friends are not around to at least care for me, no phone call, no sms to ask “Are you doing ok?” (which was all I needed actually).

So yes I fucked up and the virus fucked me.
I was listening to Coldplay's latest in a delayed mode.

All that noice, all that sound,.....................................

All those places I got found,.......................................

....................and the birds go flying at the speed of sound.

I had to wait at least for 10 seconds or more before the next line came on, and this was continuing for a very long time. Ask some experts around my office, and they said I have to re-format it. Damn it! I had a fucking deadline! My Boss is going to breath down my neck again!

The only good thing about all this is I get to upgrade my OS to XP now. Yeah my OS was ancient Win98 can you beat that? After many hours of transferring files, formatting, reinstalling, transferring, I am online again.

easy come easy go...

2005-07-12T15:48:00.000+08:00

What can you do in 20 days?

1. Start, finish and deliver a work project.

2. Go around the world.

3. Hold a benefit auction

4. Live in a car to win it

5. Undergo Training

6. Learn meditation to re-discover yourself

7. Take a sky diving course.

8. Impregnate a girl.

9. Start a war

For me, 20 days is all it takes to start and end a relationship. Mine has just ended as of today. My single friends should be happy that I’m single again. Maybe I should apply to hold a record on the Malaysian Book of Records??

Anyone free to buy me drinks? I need intoxication.

when you say what you don’t mean

2005-07-08T18:02:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, in a far away land, 2 strangers met at a coffee place called starfucks. They were amidst a group of people, but somehow the connection was strong between the two. He (bastard) found her attractive and captivating, she (bitch) found him knowledgeable and mysterious and a friendship started.

They met again in cyberfucks and had long meaningful conversations through the emails and fuckrooms. Got to know each other even more. Then came the phone conversations and then on 1^st January 2005, they decided to meet up again. As they were both staying far apart, they flew to a mutual place to meet and had deeper and more meaningful conversations.

Obviously something happened between the 2, you can call it chemistry, you can safely say there were possibilities, you can call it stupidity too but something did happen. The bitch went hoping to look for an answer to whether this relationship can be explored, the bastard came with the intentions of making the relationship work.

From the start, things went on the wrong footing. They both came with different expectations and left with different conclusions. Bitch left knowing the answer that it will not work out between them but would love to carry on as friends, bastard left feeling sad that the bitch was not on the same path but promised to be a friend too. Bitch went on with life as usual, bastard still carried on not giving up.

Now, what is so wrong here? Nothing really. Just that the bastard never spoke his mind, he never really did tell the bitch that he couldn’t let go. He was still putting up a front saying things are fine and dandy and that he has put it all behind. That he will be the best buddy the bitch will ever have and that he will one day tell his grandchildren their story of the greatest friendship ever. But sadly he has not. 8 months came and passed.

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on who’s side you are own, the bitch found someone and is now dating this new bastard exclusively.

The truth is revealed.

The bastard who professed to be ok with things;
claims to have left the baggage behind and not have any feelings for the bitch;
who had wished her well in finding a man to love her;
who has told her he will forever be her friend;
went berserk and left her without saying a word.

But you say, what could he have done? He was just a damn stupid fool in love??!!

Well I tell you he could have come clean. Why hide all this feelings in the first place. Say what you mean, especially to people whom you say you care about. You are entitled to your own feelings, opinions, yes but why be deceitful. Why be such a selfish bastard when you can be the best buddy? Why ruin something that could have lasted a lifetime just because you have your own feelings to take care of? Why promise to bond with someone on the grounds of true friendship but end up with an ulterior motive?

ALWAYS say what you mean and mean what you say. You will not only hurt yourself but the others around you.

I'm in Love, so wat now?

2005-07-06T17:47:00.000+08:00

Why is it that people change the way they feel about you when they found out that you have changed your status from Single to Attached? I aint no leper, not a pariah, I am still ME. What the fuck did I do wrong?

Are you meaning to tell me that you professed to be my buddy - one who will no longer have feelings for me because you know it will not work - but still think that maybe romantic inclinations of some sorts are still possible? or you are still trying to get into my pants or under my skirt or under my blouse - well you get the point...

What is with this people????!!!?????

I was kind to them, more than a friend, always by their side like how a good friend should be. I was there when you needed me, I will still be, but why do you still choose to disappear from my life just because? You know this day will come, you wished me well, you even said I wish you the best in finding a guy that will sayang you, but when I do they leave??? I was their best friend, their best mate, now I am the greatest antipathy! WTF??!!??

And why is it that one buddy can disappear all of a sudden from your life without saying a word? And why is it that another buddy can have the cheek to tell you "So this is goodbye" ??!! What gives? Does friendship have to resort to this end??!!

I am so totally pissed off right now.

everytime you go away...

2005-07-04T20:11:00.000+08:00

Everytime I travel, I get excited the night before. This time its no exception. The thrill of visiting a new place, meeting new people, doing different things is so exciting. Although I have been to Singapore so many times, its spending time with different people, eating different food or just simply having coffee carrying different conversations with people that matters to you will give you that high and happy feeling.

This trip was a great one. One of the best Singapore trips I've had. I wont bored you with the whole trip's itinerary but here is a glimpse of a typical day there.

11.00am : Wake up call
12.00pm : Dim Sum brunch at royal china, raffles hotel
1.00pm : Coffee perk and gossips at raffles
3.00pm : Shopping at paragon
7.00pm : Dinner at ang mo kio - famous crab meehoon *slurp*
11.30pm : Party at thumpers ladies night
3.00am : Last drinks at the bar...
4.00am : stumble back to marriott hotel

and the same thing again tomorrow....

this trip was made even more special as 2 of my best friends were there, i hang out with people that mattered to me, go to the temple for prayers and collect my charm, drink to my hearts content without paying a single cent, meet and develop new friendships, rekindle old ones. Shop till I drop, 6 shoes, 1 top, 8 t-shirts, 1 dress, 6 bags (mom's gonna kill me), loads of toiletries from watson's (totalling a siao figure of S$156.34), spent quality time with someone i missed. But the most fullfilling time was spent talking to my good friend and advisor on life. Everytime I spend time talking to him, not only do I learn something new, I became more optimistic in life everytime we speak. Now these are the things that money cant buy. (really tempted to quote the famous master card line here)

In a nut shell, I went with zero expectations and had more fun than I can ever hope for. Apparently, everytime I come back from a trip I tend to leave my heart behind, and I did.

and so the saga ends...

2005-06-23T13:08:00.000+08:00

Have been meaning to catch Star Wars for the longest time. Yes, I know, it was way overdue, but you cant really blame me. I was looking high and low for someone to watch it with and cant seem to find anyone. Either they have already seen it, wanted to see it again but couldn’t make it or the timing sucks.

But I finally managed to make RD watch it with me yesterday night in KLCC at 11.25pm. So after work, I went to my sister's house to shower. Unfortunately Tenaga had to choose this time to cut the electricity and I had to shower in the dark with nothing but a torch light and freezing water. Got dressed in the dark, put on makeup in the dark and when I was about to leave the house, irony strikes again cold and heavy when the lights flickered back on.

I drove a little faster than usual as I was a little late for the 45 mins - get your ticket before it is grabbed by somebody else - dateline, rushed up to TGV and still managed to get good seats. Phew.

I had 30mins to kill, so I walked to the park downstairs. As usual irritating love birds where everywhere, holding each other whispering sweet nothings. So I headed to look at the latest addition to the KL skyline – the convention centre.

“Would you know where this leads to?” came a voice with a heavy French accent.

I looked up to see this cute French guy still in his work clothes and tie.

I found out he was a consultant, working in KLCC for 1 month, travels the world, have girldfriends all over and looking for some fun. So I took his name card and thought maybe I can introduce my friends to him instead.

“My life is now in your hands so please email me or call me sometime”

If I were still out and looking, it would have been nice to meet up, but ever since RD came into existence I wouldn’t want to look anywhere else.

The movie was great, but the company was even better. Imagine eating a really sweet chocolate cake, MMmmmm… that is how sweet RD is with his little loving gestures. I don’t know about you but the saga just began...

when its always your fault

2005-06-22T11:03:00.000+08:00

Why must you always point your fingers at someone else!?!

Is it self-gratification that you need to feel this big and make others feel so small? Are you the superior being here that does no wrong? Or are you the coward who does not admit to your own mistakes? Do you have an inferior complex and trying hard to hide it? Or are you just a being a biatch trying to pick a fight with me? Sheeesh!

BL came in today and the first thing she said to me was "You shouldn’t have trusted Mr. Tan" with the look on her face like 'you should have known better'.

Yeah and Good morning to you too!

What has this got to do with me? So it’s my fault now??? You said it was ok in the first place. I am not the professional consultant here, you are. WTF?! Bugger off and leave me alone!

Am already so stressed out I can feel my head throbbing and my blood pressure rising. Deadlines are coming. Body is weak, anxiety of things to come are constantly in my mind so much so that you can't get a peaceful night of rest without waking up at least 10 times.

Schedule is packed, tonight 11.25pm - Star Wars III (yay finally!), tomorrow night PPS meet. Come Friday I'd be gone to Singapore by 5pm.

This is such a slow and stressful week.

20.06.05 : a day to remember

2005-06-20T15:05:00.000+08:00

Today is a historical day. It will be the day that we will all live to remember.

No it's not the start of a world war nor some terrorist bombed our dear little Arab Square.

Its the day Suan made it to the main page of The Star's Section Two!

No big deal you say? Oh yeah, you try it then.

Anyway, we are all so glad she is now famous, albeit for a day. Even my mom called me up and said "Aiyah! Suan is on the paper ler!" It feel like your own daughter is now being recognised for her achievements and you feel damn proud of it.

Well i am damn proud!

Cheers Suanie!!

P/S:

For buying 4 ekor : 2065
first price guaranteed
If not please dont look for me

First things First

2005-06-18T05:00:00.000+08:00

I have to give credit to a good friend who used my english nick to a cute malay one - "mata kecik". That's how the name of this blog came about.

She is also the one great friend I share most of my laughter, sadness, parties, countless beers, food (man she sure can stuff her face) and life stories with, she is also going to be this famous blogger by Monday (remember to buy The Star and watch Section II) - who supposedly inspired millions to blog (yeah she wish).

Presenting the infamous suanie

So I am taking after her foot steps, but no you will not find me trying on curtains and parading for you in this blog.